The Truth about Self-Care (and what it isn't)

If you're looking to protect yourself from burnout and stress, be more present and stable, and to understand yourself a little more, self-care could be your ticket to doing so. And, in this day and age, there is no end to the number of influencers looking to share their self-care routines online. They can be fun and inspiring to view. However, in a time where so much social importance is placed on aesthetics and post-worthy content, it’s easy to lose sight of what self-care actually means. One scroll through social media might have you thinking it’s all bubble baths, expensive candles, and

green smoothies (... and maybe something about ice cubes and banana peels?).

While those things can be part of self-care (who doesn't love a good bubble bath), they tend to only scratch the surface. Often self-care is deeper, quieter, and often a lot less glamorous than it looks online. So, let's talk about what self-care really is and how to build a self-care practice that actually works for you.

First, let's start with a few common misconceptions:

Self-care isn't just pampering. Although it can be quite nice having a massage or a spa night in, sometimes self-care can actually involve some discomfort. The purpose is to take care of yourself, and sometimes hard decisions are needed to be able to properly do so.

Self-Care isn't selfish. Taking care of yourself doesn't have to mean ignoring others. It's about making sure that you are in a place where you are able to show up for them without your mental, emotional, or physical tank running on empty. The goal is sustainability, which in turn can help you in being there for others when needed.

It's not the same for everyone. What helps someone else to feel like the best version of themself may not work the same for you. Self-care is personal, and should reflect your own needs, values, and lifestyle. This can also mean someone may not understand how

something works for you and vice versa. For example, someone may like to blast their music and go one a cleaning spree, while someone else may need a day of peace and quiet away from their chores for the day. Both activities could leave their respective person feeling happy and refreshed.

So what is it??

Self-care, put simply, is being intentional in what you do to support your health and well-being and to honor and respect your needs. This can lead you to feeling more resilient and less likely to feel burnout. You can gain and build compassion for yourself, and you can be more engaged with others.

So here are the truths:

There are different forms of self-care. Each one of us is different, and yet we all need to care for our basic needs and health. This could be physically (sleeping well, staying active, eating nutritious foods), emotionally (expressing yourself, journaling, seeing a therapist), socially (connecting with others and creating a healthy support system), spiritually (spending time in nature, focusing on your values), and practically (cleaning your space and budgeting).

It's not always pretty, but it's functional. As fun as it sounds to go out on a trip with your friends for a little escape, self-care can also look like saying "no" to a night out to get a solid night of sleep instead, or maybe to even just protect yourself from potential stressors. It can

also look like scheduling a healthcare visit or speaking up about your feelings and boundaries even when you're nervous to do so. Sometimes it takes a little work to take care of ourselves.

Self-Care needs consistency. You wouldn't spend a week eating candy and junk food, then eat one apple and call that a health kick. Similarly, one self-care act may not keep away your burnout or stress either. You build up your resilience and protection with consistent and manageable acts of self-care.

Where do we start?

Self-care is deeply personal. So there really isn't a list you can find with a prescription on what you should be doing. Instead, you can start by taking the time to think about what helps you to feel recharged and grounded. You can even take note of what things drain you- you might even be surprise you when you pay attention to how your mind and body feel.

Changing a routine can be difficult. It's okay to start small. Think drinking a glass of water or going for a short walk. Even a five minute call to a friend or loved one can build your burnout protection over time if it's something you enjoy and is manageable.

Don't be afraid to change things up. Just as physical health can fluctuate, so can mental health. If you find that something isn't work for you anymore, reflect on why that is and shift it to something that does. It helps to check in with yourself regularly.

Self-care is not a luxury. It's not a reward. It's a necessity to be a stable and healthy version of yourself. It doesn't have to be expensive or aesthetic. It just has to work for you.

So then, what's one act of self-care you can do for yourself today?

Brianna Dennis-McCrory